a good response to the question “how old are you?” is something along the lines of “dunno i stopped counting after the first few centuries”
and it needs to be said seriously without smiling or humor or as casually as possible and followed by “so anyway” and a subject change as if it’s completely normal
all fandoms have that one fucking overused quote that is on 99.9% of the edits
i don’t understand why some people want the power to freeze things or fly or be invisible
dude imagine if you could stop time
like you could literally just stop time for a year and just do nothing or write a book
or you could stop time at night and literally have a full night’s worth of sleep in less than a second
you’d have so much time to do whatever you want
oh my god i’m at the grocery store and there is a guy in the frozen section who is tweaked off his balls on some kind hallucinatory drug.
i’m in the next isle meowing softly through the cereal boxes where he can’t see me and he is losing his shit pulling pizza boxes out of the freezers and yelling that he needs to save the popsicle cat
am i a bad person
I love you
my number one piece of advice is drink water and stay hydrated. we are made out of water. everything in us is made of water. and u are sitting there drinking a diet coke tellin me that’s all you’ve had to drink today. please get up and drink some water. for the love of god.